Jack's Poem

Tracy Collier Durrum wrote this poem for me a day after Jack passed (7/2/12).  She told me that it just came to her and she had to write it out as soon as she could.  She posted it on my Facebook wall and then later read it at Jack's funeral.  It now hangs in the hallway of my house on blue cloud paper.  Thank you Trace for writing this.

 

 

BEAUTIFUL BOY FULL OF HEART

FROM THIS WORLD YOU HAD TO PART

WE MAY NOT KNOW WHAT'S IN STORE

BUT I BELIEVE IT'S SO MUCH MORE

WHEN YOU WERE HERE YOU WERE BOUND

BY THE PHYSICAL THINGS THAT HELD YOU DOWN

NOW YOU'RE FREE AND IN HIS CARE

IN A PLACE VOID OF FEAR

YOU WILL SURELY NOT BE FORGOTTEN

AND DEFINITELY MISSED

BUT TO WANT YOU HERE INSTEAD OF WHERE

YOU ARE NOW, IS FROM SELFISHNESS

THE NEED OF SEEING YOUR CONTAGIOUS SMILE

YOUR HEART AND WARMTH MADE IT ALL WORTH WHILE

SO AS WE LOOK FORWARD TO WHAT WILL BE

WE KNOW AT LEAST YOU HAVE EVERYTHING YOU NEED

KEEP SMILING FROM HEAVEN TO REMIND US ALL

OF THE BLESSING YOU WERE BEFORE YOU WERE CALLED...

HOME TO BE WITH GOD!!

 



Tracy and Jack Summer 2010
Thanks for helping me give him a bath that day!
 

Deborah

Most have already seen my post of Deborah's pictures.  If you would like to look at it again click HERE.  It really is worth your while, she takes beautiful pictures.  I after I posted that blog, I looked at Deborah's Blog and realized that she wrote about us.  About Jack pictures. 
 

Recently, while I was cleaning up the blog a little, I came across my post "Capturing the Moment".  Just to look at those pictures makes my heart hurt.  I then went to her blog again and knew that I must share it on here.  If you would like to see what Deborah wrote about us, click HERE. 

I will leave you with one more photo that she took.  She does such wonderful work.  Thank you so much Deborah!!

 

 

 

Camp Nelson

I take pictures every time we visit Jack.  Here is what I have so far. 

I started taking pictures at this angle and I love how they turned out.

 

 

 

  

 

 

 

 

Yes, she always plays with the flowers.

 

 

 

 

Memorial Day

 

 

Half Marathon

Rock n Roll Half Marathon April 27, 2013 

 

My goal was just to finish in under 3 hours and my time was 2:55:35.  I am super proud of that because it was about 50 degrees and rained the entire time.  Our plans were to run by ourselves.  But right before the race I asked John to stay with me.  I'm so glad that he did.  It made the run so much more enjoyable. 

 

We were about a half mile in and we saw a young guy using a walker and walking in front of his wheelchair.  It brought tears to my eyes.  I didn't even know him but I was so proud that he got out of his wheelchair and walked.  He looked so happy to be doing that.  

 

There are not too many pictures of the race because of the rain.  I really wish we could have gotten everyone's picture before the race.  Mike, Julie and Megan started at a different corral than us and it was just too cold after to take pictures. 

 

 

Wearing our shirts for Jack.

Lori, Saby, Me, Rocio, Rachel and John right before the race.

Betty, Lori, John, Me, Freddie, Frances, Saby
Rachel and Rocio at Joe's Crabshack for
dinner after the race.

Rachel and Rocio

Betty and Lori

Freddie, Frances (baby) and Saby 

We just happened to see the building for Antique Archaeology. 

 

 

In front of Mike and Frank's building.  Mike was going to
be there the next day signing books but it was going to
be during the race :(

I just want to thank everyone that ran for Jack.  It really meant a lot to me and John to see his shirts that day. 

Jack's Plaque

His plaque was put in around the middle of July this year.  We absolutely love it.  Thank you so much to all who donated.  If anyone wants to see it, let me know and I can tell you where it is located at the Arboretum.

Happy Birthday Sweet Angel, Jack

One year ago today.  Happy birthday in heaven, Jack!

I thought today would be a day that I wouldn't want to get out of bed.  But that wasn't the case.  Since this past weekend I have had a wonderful feeling.  Getting the tattoo and then getting Jackson's story in the Lexington Herald Leader just seemed like icing on Jackson's birthday cake. 

Jackson would have turned 4 today.  I should have been planning a birthday but instead I will be making a trip to the cemetary with John and Sarah.  I will take bright yellow flowers and a balloon or two.  One to release for Jack and the other so Sarah doesn't get upset when we let the balloon go.

Click here for the article from the Herald Leader in case anyone didn't see it on Facebook.   And here is the photo gallery from the Immersed in Ink tattoo festival.  We met some wonderful people down there.  Here are our tattoos.

Courtesy of Lexington Herald Leader

Exactly what I wanted. Simple.

Today was a day for mail.  First, a banner that a friend of John's made for us.  We will have it at the marathon this weekend. 

Then I received flowers from Nicole for Jackson's birthday.  I love the colors that she chose.  He loved yellow and (we think) his favorite color was blue. 

There is  a long story to go along with the last package.  I saw a blanket that I friend received on facebook that Join the Love made.  It was so pretty so I went to their page to see what Join the Love was about.  They crochet memory blankets for parents that have lost children.  I emailed them requesting one for Jack back in October.  They had so many that it took quite a few months for completion.  I received an email in February telling me that the box had been delivered and wanted to know if I got the blanket.  Uh oh, I hadn't.  I forgot to tell them that we moved to Lexington, it went to Ft. Knox.  I called the office at Ft. Knox, she called the new tenants and they said that they took it back to Fedex to return to sender.  I think that all that happened just so I could get it on Jack's birthday.  I told John earlier today that wouldn't it be neat if we got it today and we did!

With Join the Love, all the granny squares are made by different people all over the US then assembled by one person.  They asked his interest and favorite color.  I don't know if you can see Sponge Bob but he's there too!  It fits perfect in "Jack's room".   It was absolutly a pleasure to get this.  I immediatly stretched out the blanket on the and took pictures of it. 

Then Sarah woke up so I thought I would show her.  I think she likes it.

Happy birthday, little man!!!!  You seemed to have made this day perfect for me.  We love and miss you so much!

I didn't know

Jack's passing was sudden.  I didn't know that Saturday June 30, 2012 would be my last day with him.  I didn't know when I put him to bed that it would be the last time he would sleep in our home.  I thought I had many day, months, years to spend with him. 

I didn't know that his first Christmas being a big brother would be his last. Or that he only had a short time with us after Sarah's first birthday. That this would be the last picture that I took of him alive.

It's blurry because I was trying to take a pic of me feeding him.
The next one is better.

See much better.  Letting him taste kiwi for the
first time.

I can't say that I would do anything different because I can't change the past.  I don't think about trying to change it.  I have to live now or I would be an absolute mess. 

His birthday is exactly one month away.  I dread that day.  I don't get to kiss those sweet cheeks or hold his little fat hand.  We have constant reminders of him but holidays are the worst. 

For his birthday John, I and many friends are going to be running the Nashville Rock n Roll Marathon and Half Marathon in memory of Jack.  The training has really helped keep me focused and gets me in the gym.  Yesterday I finished 9 miles.  It may have taken me over two hours but I felt great after. 

Here is the back of the shirt we will be wearing.

Who knew that I would actually want to run 13.1 miles but I do.  Only for my boy!

Bringing back the old

Well it's been almost a year since I have blogged.  The other day I was having a low moment and found myself typing jackspeanut.blogspot.com on my phone.  I knew that the blog didn't exist but I guess I felt comfort in doing it.  The website said that the name was available so I immediately logged back in.  There was nothing saved on here so I am having to start all over.  It's kind of plain right now but I will fix that in time. 

I wanted somewhere to write my thoughts down.  I am also going to have "Memory Mondays" where I post my old blogs that I have saved.  One a week until they are all on here.  This will be a way for me to keep Jack's memory close.  I put Jack's History on the top of the page and will add pages in time.  Right now it's a work in progress, just somewhere for me to organize my thoughts. 

I'm going to keep this blog short and simple.  More to come later.