Tuesday, July 1, 2014

July 1, 2012

Since Jack died on a military installation there had to be an investigation. I had to answer many questions about the day before he died and explain in detail what happened that morning.

One month after he died we had to go in and give a statement. I thought this would be more questions but they actually made me type up what happened the morning that he died.
For some reason I thought that it would be a good idea to type it on here. I did and it has been sitting in draft status for almost two years. I just didn't know the right time to let everyone know what happened.
We really don't know what exactly caused his death. An autopsy was preformed but I will never look at it. His death certificate states that his cause of death was "Seizure Disorder". Doesn't really tell me much because he had such horrible seizures.
This is what I remember of the day Jack died. Some parts are very clear and some are not. I kind of just stop at the end because that's really all I remembered. Shock set in and I really wasn't all there. 
He woke up at 3:30 am.  I went to get him out of bed and he was pretty upset so I sat on my bed and held him.  He calmed down quickly then I laid him down on his stomach and he had a tonic seizure.  I decided that it wasn't a good idea to leave him like that since he turns his head during those seizures.  I got him comfy on his side and he fell back to sleep.  I laid back down and then made sure his circulation wasn't getting cut off by laying on his arm.  He was calm and asleep.  I fell asleep.

I woke up at 5:30 am and checked on him.  He had rolled to his stomach and his face was down against the bed.  I turned his head and put his drool cloth under him.  Then I realized that there was no resistance when I turned his head.   I felt for his back moving up and down for breathing.  Then felt his arms and legs.  They were cool.  I felt his torso and it was warm.  I jumped up and turned on the light and flipped him over. 

He had pressure lines on his face.  My thought was... oh my god, he's, no.  Then complete panic hit.  Oh my god.  I dialed 911 and got the Radcliff dispatcher.  When I told them my address they transferred me to the Fort Knox dispatcher.  During the transfer, which felt like 10 minutes but was about 30 seconds, I started CPR on Jack.  Once Fort Knox got on the phone they asked if I was doing CPR.  I told them yes but I couldn't remember how many compressions and how many breaths.  30 compressions and two breaths.
The ambulance arrived.  The paramedic took one look at Jack, scooped him up and carried him to the ambulance.  I ran behind them telling them he had epilepsy and took a lot of medications.  I had to let them take him because I was home alone and had to get Sarah.2 breaths then check for breathing and pulse. 

I put shoes on while the police held Sarah.  We rushed to the hospital and the police escorted me in.  I was greeted by a nurse who immediately asked for my ID card.  I just looked at her and shook my head.  Then another nurse came up and took Sarah from me so I could go be with Jack.  I got to the end of the hall where I could see them doing CPR on him.  I collapsed.  I few people sat down with me.

Someone came and asked me to go in to the room.  I stood up and saw that they were still working on him and couldn't move.  The nurse kind of pushed me to the room.  I stood and watched.  I was given a chair to sit in.  I sat.  I felt like I wasn't even in the room.  My head was spinning and I couldn't hear anything. 

They asked me to come up and be beside Jack.  I stood there and held his hand.  I felt like I was in the way.  I knelt down and kept talking to him.  I touched his hair. 

The doctor came up to me and said that they had been working on him for 40 minutes.  That if he was to come back that he would have an apoxic brain injury.  I told him that he has a brain injury from birth.  He then asked if they could stop life saving efforts.  I told them yes. 

The room was empty almost immediately.  I was alone with Jack.  I kept telling him I was sorry. 

Thursday, January 9, 2014

Memory Monday (Snow in San Antonio) 2/4/11 - 38

Friday, February 4, 2011

We don't get snow very often down here.  While watching the weather this morning the newscasters said that it hadn't snowed like this in 5 years.  Well, with this small amount of snow it shut the city down.  I mean literally.  The 3 major interstates that run through SA were CLOSED.  Under the snow was ice and it was slick out there.  Not that we ventured out today but there were alot of videos from around town with cars sliding everywhere.


So with the snow comes snow days.  John didn't have to go to work and Jack's nurse couldn't make it today.  So we just spent the day inside snuggling.  Jack really enjoyed it.  He even got to try a new keto snack today.  Pureed peaches with cream cheese and butter.  I think he liked it, only minimal came out of his mouth.  His next treat will be cauliflower with cream cheese and butter.  I hope it likes it.
Watching his lights
Wanting me to pick him up

Here are a few pics that I forgot to include in the last post:

First time sleeping in his new bed

Rusty protecting Jack

 Posted by Tracy at 6:37 PM 4 comments http://img2.blogblog.com/img/icon18_edit_allbkg.gif

Labels: Feeding, Happy, Ketogenic