Memory Monday (16 weeks pics) 2/2/11 - 37

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

16 weeks pics

I'm a little late posting this seeing as I am almost 17 weeks.  Last week while I was at the OB they measured my cervix length.  This is something that I will have done every two weeks until my 2nd trimester is over.  Having a bicornuate uterus puts me a risk of miscarriage in my second trimester.  The doctor is not too concerned about this because I carried Jackson until 38 weeks.  If my cervix shows any signs on incompetency then they will put a cerclage in.  This would keep my cervix closed until the doctors remove it.  I asked the OB is she could go ahead and put the stitch in now and she said no, that it could cause more problems.  I'm still scared to death that something may happen with the pregnancy but I know that they doctors are doing everything they can to prevent it.  With Jackson I didn't know I had a bicornuate uterus so they took no high risk precautions. 

I'm feeling like myself again.  I can eat and I want to eat all the time.  Mom said that if she stayed any longer that she would start putting on the pounds with me.  They were concerned that I hadn't put on any weight yet, in fact that I had lost so much.  But in the past week I have gained 5 pounds. 

During the ultrasound the baby was very active.  The tech would tell us to look for the hand and it would move across the screen.  Of course the baby was not cooperative at all in finding out if Jack is going to have a little brother or sister.  Those little legs were crossed tight!

Yes, I'm wearing capris!  It was 80  degrees this weekend!  (now it's 20)

Starting to look more like a baby and less like an alien.

I think the baby has Jack's nose.

Posted by Tracy at 4:53 PM 2 comments

Labels: Baby, Pregnancy

Memory Monday (Hair cut!!) 1/28/11 - 36

Hair cut!!

Grandma Barbara came to visit this weekend.  We found her an apartment that will be available in April.  We also cut Jack's hair.  She cut, I held his head and John took pictures.  Overall it was a success!  He looks like a little boy again.  He looked pretty shaggy before! 

I recently read a post about another little guy that couldn't hold up his head.  He and his mother went  into a large chain of hair salons and they refused to cut his hair because he couldn't sit in the booster seat.  Even though that did cut his hair before while he sat in his mom's lap.  As I was reading her blog it broke my heart that they had to feel so alone.  In the end, they did cut his hair one last time but said that they would not do it again.  I wish they were in San Antonio because my mom would definitely cut his hair.  Even if it is on the living room floor.

 

Hurry up guys

 



This is hard work

Ready for his bath

New pajamas, look at his long legs!

His Spiderman pose

 

Snoozin' with Daddy



Posted by Tracy at 4:15 PM 3 comments

Labels: Happy

Memory Monday (Good news) 1/25/11 - 35

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Good news

No anesthesia for Jackson!!  When we arrived at the opthamology office both doctors agreed that he didn't need to go under for draining.  They did open it back up with a needle and drained some blood. 

The rest of the blood will either be absorbed back into his body or drain out of the site.  She wasn't concerned about it because once he starts the antibiotics his body should take care of the rest.  She said that we can always make a decision later to go in and drain it if it hasn't cleared up.  

So for the third time this week we will go back to Wilford Hall on Thursday.  They want to check it one more time.  Maybe this time we can actually get his immunizations. 

Posted by Tracy at 12:55 PM 1 comments

Memory Monday (Spontaneously opened up) 1/24/11 - 34

Monday, January 24, 2011

Spontaneously opened up

That's what happened to Jack's cyst today.  His nurse was putting coconut oil on it because the skin was really dry and it opened up.  She said that some green guke came out and then blood.  It then turned more purple and looked really bad.

When we got to Dr. Easter's office he was concerned about it.  He had another doc in his office look at it.  He made the decision to start antibiotics and do warm compresses.  He also sent us to dermatology so they could take a look at it.  They opened it up again since it had closed from this morning.  They got a little puss to culture.  A lot of blood and a very unhappy baby.  But he wasn't unhappy because they were messing with him it was just his time to throw a fit.  Other than that he did really well for them.  He is definitely a trooper.

Our day doesn't end here.  The dermaologist wanted us to see opthamology because it was so close to his eye.  They again looked and poked at him.  More blood and a squirmy baby.  They checked the white part of his eye and everything looked good.   After seven doctors and a lot of debating on what to do here is the conclusion.

We will start the antibiotic and go back tomorrow and they will open it up to drain it.  Since he cannot stay still he will be put under.  Unless, by some chance the meds kick in and it starts to clear up.  So we leave and John goes to pick up the med at BAMC.  When he is leaving he calls me to let me know that they do not have the tablets but gave him a suspension instead.  He told them that he was on the keto diet but they did NOT understand.  They told him to give him more water so it would dilute the sugar.  NOT how the diet works. 

I went into a panic.  I emailed my yahoo groups for their opinion and start looking up the amount of carbs on the internet.  3 grams of sucrose per 5 ml.  He would 5 ml 3 times a day.  His meds are supposed to stay under 500 mg of carbs a day.  9 grams would put him WAY over.  To make a long story short.  We are not giving it to him.  We made the decision to go ahead and have it drained and we will get the tablets tomorrow. 

Jack was having a tough time this evening.  He was having a lot of seizures and crying so I gave him some Tylenol and now he is resting comfortably.  I think his eyebrow may have been sore.  This is what it looks like after all the prodding today.

 

 

Posted by Tracy at 8:29 PM 3 comments

Labels: Ketogenic

Memory Monday (60-79-63-44-22) 1/23/11 - 33

Sunday, January 23, 2011

60-79-36-44-22

Those are how many seizures Jack has had the past 5 days.  79!!!!  I couldn't believe that one!  This has been the first time in a few months that I have been counting.  I guess they really crept back up on me.  I hate that he has been suffering and I didn't even know they were seizures.  We decreased keto diet ratio on the day that he had 79 seizures.  Then they have been dropping since then.  What does that tell me?  I have no clue.  Is the diet not really working?  Did he need to be on a lower ratio for better control?  Has he been having this many all along?  Too many questions!!  Will he ever get seizure control?  I hope the answers will come in time.  Until then, I have to watch him suffer and not develop.   

Other than the seizures he is doing pretty good.  The last two nights he slept until 6:30.  Once I started feeding him he fell back asleep.  During the day he's been alert and watching his lights and football. 

He has done really well with the amount increase of mouth feedings.  He can finish them in about 10 minutes.  He seems to do better when Daddy feeds him. Speaking of John feeding him, he's doing it right now.  Jack is cooing and John is whispering to him. So sweet!!  I guess he just loves spending time with Daddy.

We go to HIS pediatrician tomorrow.  If you read the recent post about the other doctor that we saw you know I wasn't happy.  I'm actually looking forward to tomorrow and getting some answers.  If he can't do anything about his eye then he will send him somewhere that can.  He's had the cyst for over a month and it is now getting bigger.  He will also get his immunizations.  Not looking forward to that but I know he needs them.  So until then...

Posted by Tracy at 6:29 PM 0 comments

Labels: Feeding, Happy, Ketogenic, Seizures

Memory Monday (15 weeks) 1/23/11 - 32

15 weeks

I am 15 weeks and 2 days.  John says that I finally look pregnant.  I started really showing about a week ago.  I am feeling much better these days.  I couldn't wait to get out of the first trimester.  Since I have my appetite back I expect to gain back the 12 pounds that I lost. 

I think I felt the baby move this week.  I felt Jack move at 18 weeks.  With this being my second and I know what those little squirmy movements feel like, I can tell earlier. 

 

 

I go to the doctor this Wednesday.  Since they said that I would have a growth scan (ultrasound measuring baby) each month I hope to have some new pictures of the little one. 

Recently, I have been cleaning and taking care of the house.  Since I wasn't able to for the past 10 weeks it feels good to have my house back to normal.  Grandma (my mom) is coming down this weekend to visit and look for apartments.  For those who don't know yet, she is moving down here in April.  She's really excited and can't wait to help with Jack and the new baby. 

Posted by Tracy at 5:10 PM 6 comments

Labels: Baby, Pregnancy

Jack's Poem

Tracy Collier Durrum wrote this poem for me a day after Jack passed (7/2/12).  She told me that it just came to her and she had to write it out as soon as she could.  She posted it on my Facebook wall and then later read it at Jack's funeral.  It now hangs in the hallway of my house on blue cloud paper.  Thank you Trace for writing this.

 

 

BEAUTIFUL BOY FULL OF HEART

FROM THIS WORLD YOU HAD TO PART

WE MAY NOT KNOW WHAT'S IN STORE

BUT I BELIEVE IT'S SO MUCH MORE

WHEN YOU WERE HERE YOU WERE BOUND

BY THE PHYSICAL THINGS THAT HELD YOU DOWN

NOW YOU'RE FREE AND IN HIS CARE

IN A PLACE VOID OF FEAR

YOU WILL SURELY NOT BE FORGOTTEN

AND DEFINITELY MISSED

BUT TO WANT YOU HERE INSTEAD OF WHERE

YOU ARE NOW, IS FROM SELFISHNESS

THE NEED OF SEEING YOUR CONTAGIOUS SMILE

YOUR HEART AND WARMTH MADE IT ALL WORTH WHILE

SO AS WE LOOK FORWARD TO WHAT WILL BE

WE KNOW AT LEAST YOU HAVE EVERYTHING YOU NEED

KEEP SMILING FROM HEAVEN TO REMIND US ALL

OF THE BLESSING YOU WERE BEFORE YOU WERE CALLED...

HOME TO BE WITH GOD!!

 



Tracy and Jack Summer 2010
Thanks for helping me give him a bath that day!
 

Memory Monday (What now?) 1/18/11 - 31

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

What now?

I spoke with the nurse practitioner from the keto team today.  She wanted to know how the Keppra wean was going and I wanted to know about his lab results.  I told her that I didn't think that he was having any more seizures since going down on Keppra but I haven't been counting each spasm.  We were hoping that with the decrease of carbs he would have fewer seizures.  She wants us to stop the wean and stay on the dose we are on.  His blood ketones were actually 5.85 so we cannot increase his ratio.  That is well within the normal range for blood ketones.   

So now what?  Well, it's not what I thought they would suggest.  The neurologist wants us to down on the ratio to 4:1.  This is to see if the diet is working.  He thought that maybe he could be having 2 or 3 times the amount of seizures if he wasn't on the diet. 

I feel like I am at a loss right now.  I just want his seizures to decrease and him not struggle.  It's horrible to watch my baby have a spasm and then poke his little lip out and he starts to whimper.  IT'S HORRIBLE!  I hoped and prayed that the keto diet would be his wonder "drug".  I guess that's not the case. 

 

Posted by Tracy at 4:05 PM 0 comments

Labels: Ketogenic, Seizures

Deborah

Most have already seen my post of Deborah's pictures.  If you would like to look at it again click HERE.  It really is worth your while, she takes beautiful pictures.  I after I posted that blog, I looked at Deborah's Blog and realized that she wrote about us.  About Jack pictures. 
 

Recently, while I was cleaning up the blog a little, I came across my post "Capturing the Moment".  Just to look at those pictures makes my heart hurt.  I then went to her blog again and knew that I must share it on here.  If you would like to see what Deborah wrote about us, click HERE. 

I will leave you with one more photo that she took.  She does such wonderful work.  Thank you so much Deborah!!

 

 

 

9 years...

Happy Anniversary, John!  You are my best friend and my rock. 

 

Here are a few pictures of us over the years:

 

The day we got married - 10/29/04

With Rusty - 2006

In the NICU with Jack - 5/4/09

At Mike and Julie's wedding - 2009

Jack's 1st birthday - 2010

The day we brought Sarah home - 6/22/11

Christmas 2011

 

Downtown San Antonio - 4/8/12



Jack's 3rd birthday - 4/25/2012



Celebrating Sarah's 1st birthday - 6/23/2012

Jack's visitation 7/5/12

Immersed in Ink Tattoo Festival - April 2013
Photo courtesy of Lexington Herald Leader

Myrtle Beach 7/8/13

 

Memory Monday (Today's Visit) 12/29/10 - 25

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Today's Visit

Today was my appointment with the high risk doctor.  I had to go through all of my history (again) and this time I did much better.  He remembered our case also.  He assured me that a prolapsed cord is very rare but he knew that I would be thinking about it this entire pregnancy.  Well of course I would.  

Since the baby was trying to hide when the doctor was checking the heartbeat he decided to do an ultrasound.  He also wanted to check the baby's size.  I got to see the little legs kicking and moving all around.  The baby measured 11 weeks 4 days.  Seeing as I'm 11/5 it's the perfect size.  Here's the pic that we got today.

The head is on the left and body on the right.

Even though they are not going to put me on any medication for my high blood pressure they want to keep monitoring me.  I'll be seen once a month and also have a growth scan.  Just to make sure the baby is developing normally.  

I got to meet the high risk OB.  She was very nice and said that she would work with me.  Good news for me to hear.  I'm going to continue to see her or at least try.  It's always difficult to keep the same doctor in a military hospital.   

Tomorrow I will have the other ultrasound and post pictures when I have them.

Jack is doing well.  He is really enjoying his nurse (as long as she's not making him work).  He hasn't had many appointments the past few weeks because of the holidays.  Next month picks back up.  

His seizures haven't changed much but are shorter in duration.  He goes back to see the doctor in Houston January 10th for the ketogenic diet.  I'm curious to see if they will change anything. 

He has been smiling more lately.  I don't know if they are spasms or he is doing it on purpose.  Either way they are the sweetest thing I've ever seen.

A cute one of J sleeping.

His big brothers are here this week for Christmas so he is enjoying that.  Here are a few pictures that I took of them opening their presents.

 

Love this, Bailey and Gavin checking out Jack.

 

Helping Gavin open his present.

He loves his lights.

 

Posted by Tracy at 2:02 PM 4 comments

Labels: Baby, Brothers, Ketogenic, Seizures

Memory Monday (DISorganized) 1/17/11 - 30

DISorganized

Since I've been pregnant and not feeling well, I have let a few things go.  Laundry being one of them.  Luckily, John took care of this.  The other thing that I have been neglecting is all of Jack's paperwork.  If you know me then you know that I hate to be disorganized.  Well, just because I didn't feel well doesn't mean that all the stuff piling up doesn't bother me.  I kept looking at it and walking away.  I knew that one day I would feel like catching up on everything.  I guess Sunday was my day.  Since he got his new bed I've been in his room more trying to put the furniture where it needs to go and I kept moving the paperwork.  That was it for me.  It was time.  I pulled out the six binders and started going through them.  I got two 3 inch binders so I can consolidate.  This process takes me a while because I like to look through it all and change things around. 

This was after completing one big binder.  But you get the picture.  Now that I got that done I feel much better.  Organization!!  AAAHHH!

 

Posted by Tracy at 1:38 PM 0 comments