Today I am missing him so much. Sometimes I will look at his pictures and think that he will be in the next room waiting on me. Sitting in his Daddy's arms or having Sarah hug his head then pull on his g-tube extension.
I will be having an OK day then it hits me. Like a ton of bricks my world comes crumbling down. He's not here for me to squeeze his knees or hold his little fat hand. How I miss holding that hand.
Every minute of everyday I think about him. The wind blows and the wind chimes outside ring. Sponge Bob comes on. Sitting on the couch where he would lay. Walking past his room. Making quilts.
I cleaned out his drawer in the kitchen today. He doesn't need those syringes anymore. It hurt me to throw them away.
These are just a few of my scattered thoughts. They hurt to write and then to reread.
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| That's my boy |
love you Tracy
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